“Assume positive intent.” These were words I first heard in a real way 8+ years ago when I began working in a local community. I was told this was a value that the human service providers tried to follow when working together. Basically what it meant in practice was that before judging each other harshly based on what was seen, that you give each other the benefit of the doubt.
 
This value is not something that I see in most of our world today. We often jump to conclusions, blame others easily, and assume that others intend to harm us or block the actions we are trying to take. We spend a lot of time worrying internally (or externally through venting) that our collaborative colleagues are just being difficult and either don’t “like us” or are trying to work against what we are trying to achieve.
 
I think the only smart thing that I ever heard Dr. Phil say was “Do you really think that other people spend that much of their time thinking about you?” Most people are not plotting your project’s demise in the corner of their office, wringing their hands in delight; they are trying to do what they think is best from their point of view. It just may be a point of view that you don’t necessarily agree with.
 
So what is the solution? Well, some would think it is that we go back to our own agencies and programs and just do what we think is best and not worry about anyone or anything else. I think we all know that the world that we live in will not allow that and the need/requirement for collaboration is not going away.
 
I think the solution is for us all to take a deep breath (I am also talking to myself here) and calm down a bit. The next step is to reserve judgment and seek to understand instead of trying to be understood. For the most part we will find that most of us have the same vision or end goal in mind, we just may disagree on the methods.
 
No one of us has all the answers. Instead of wasting time bickering and complaining about others who get in our way, let’s try to spend that time seeking common understanding and solutions to the issues we face. 
 
I know, easier said than done, right? But believe me; I have witnessed the power of assuming positive intent. If more of us can practice it, we can build a culture. And what kind of world we could create then!